Optimistic Chinese

When you talk about making plans with your free time (to go to the night market, go on vacation, meet a friend...) you often say you will go somewhere to "you wan"- which literally translates as "have fun" but sometimes will translate as "play" but in a grown-up way.

It's funny because in English, if I'm going to, say, Kenting, a beach town, I'd say that I will go there to relax, go swimming, get away from it all... but I can't really plan to have fun. I want to, of course, but we'll just see if I have fun when I get there. But in Chinese I just say, "I'm going to Kenting to have fun." The funny part of it is, the Taiwanese take having fun pretty seriously. And how would you know you're having fun unless you're in a big crowd of people, all shouting at once? Yeah.

Another one is this verb "zhao," which I would translate as "searching for" or "looking for", like you zhao a road or your pencil or something. But if a student is, say, rummaging through their bag, and I ask them what they're doing, they always say "I'm finding my pencil," and I know they're thinking of that verb in Chinese. THe power of positive thinking, eh?

You know what's awesome?

The Taiwan Post Office. Seriously.

For one thing, my postman can barely speak Chinese, let alone English. And even adult Taiwanese who speak pretty good English have trouble contemplating English addresses, between the romanization and the fact that everything's in a different order. And yet someone can mail me a letter from the US with the messiest scribble of an address and it magically gets to me.

Moreover, I can mail a card to the US or South Africa for just a little more than it would cost to mail a card within the US.

And there are lots of post offices that stay open in the evening, even until 9 or 10.

And I just went to sign up for 2 races, and the people were so helpful and it turns out you just send money through the mail and they put it in a special envelope and charge you a few bucks.

There's also a bank associated with the post office, where you can do normal banking or get your receipt lottery money. And apparently you can buy different kinds of snacks and imported items there? I don't really understand that part but I've seen people buy like Japanese tea from the lady who sells me stamps. Also, they have a whole assortment of tape and glue you can use for your packages for no charge.

Seriously. So good.

Dentist, Take 2

deep cavity + novicaine = one happy camper!

I had my dentist appointment today- with a girl who looked younger than me- although I guess people younger than me can have made it through dental school-sigh. She grew up in the US and went to Temple for dental school. Small world.
Anyways she said "Of course I'll give you novicaine!" She said it's not really part of the culture here, and that a lot of Taiwanese poeple are scared of needles. (I can see being scared of needles, but come on, it's a tiny novicaine needle, versus a drill, which is basically a big motorized needle stabbing your exposed nerve.)
I think she thought I was a big wuss because she said, "I'll just give you a moderate amount at first, but if the pain becomes unbearable just put your hand up," and even warned me about the needle going in, but I really didn't feel a thing. So my tooth is filled, pain-free!

This evening, on the scooter...

I was stopped at a light with two guys on a scooter next to me. "Look, it's an American! You should say English!" the driver said in Chinese. "No, I don't want to," the passenger said. "Come on, come on!" Then, in slow and careful English:

"Calorie. Pill. Whiskey. Guava."

I thought of several replies in English- Hey, my subconscious has a Chinese accent now! or, How did you know my plans for tonight? But the light turned green and I drove away.

scary scary dentist appointment

So living in Taiwan is usually fine. I like it here, when I need something I can usually get it, using a combination of my Chinese, their English, and charades. But there's always that fear, that you'll wind up in a terrible situation where you just can't communicate. Like tonight.

I had an hour to kill in Taichung because we had an end-of-year dinner near work, so I decided to see if I could get a dentist appointment. I went to a big chain place, asked if the dentist could speak English, the girl said yes, I was called in.

He started out in Chinese. I asked if he could speak English, because as I said in Chinese, "My tooth Chinese is not good." He spoke some- the words he spoke, he said very clearly, but he just didn't know that many words. (Like me and my Chinese!)

He found a cavity (actually I think I've had a cavity there for quite a long time but that's another story) and said he could fill it. I asked if I'd be able to eat later. Sure he said.

And then the nightmare began.

To sum up:

deep cavity + drill + no novicaine (!!!!) = one freaking out foreigner

I was literally drenched in sweat and I have never had that experience, of sweating from pain. (And come on- you've seen what happened to my arm!) I managed to get him to stop and we talked for a mintue- he said it's going to hurt because it's so deep, I said can you give me novicaine, he said I don't know that word... he tried to get his suction cup and drill back in my mouth but I sat up and decided there was no way I was going to go through with this. He was nice, and I tried to be polite, and it turns out there's a dentist at that practice who went to school in America so he gave me a temporary filling and I made an appointment with the English-speaking dentist for Wednesday. I hope they have novicaine because can your really get a deep cavity filled without it? Or laughing gas or valium or something? If not I'm totally waiting until I'm back in America even if it costs $200 (instead of, um, $1.45 like it is here).

Lunch with the Cleaning Ladies

The table in the cafeteria where the foreigners eat can hold about 12 people, and that's usually more than sufficient. Next to us is the food line, then 6 or 7 tables where all the Chinese faculty and staff eat.
But a few days ago we had a lunchtime meeting, so everyone's time to get lunch was a little shorter, and it was raining buckets, heavy even for Taiwan, so there were a tone of people eating lunch in the cafeteria. I was one of the last foreigners to get there and so I didn't get a seat at the foreigner table. No problem, I found a seat on the Chinese side, next to the crew of 4 cleaning ladies.
After lunch, one of the teachers asked if I ate by myself.
"No," I said, "I ate with the cleaning ladies."
"How'd that go?"
"Actually, not bad. We just chatted a little."
"What did you talk about?"
"Uh... how tall I am, and how pretty I am, and how good my Chinese is." I laughed and said maybe I'd eat with them more often- we never seem to talk about those things when I sit with the foreign teachers!

New Bike Ride

I think one of the best things about Taiwan is the bike rides. Traffic is insane, but people are used to cyclists and don't tailgate them or beep at them or do other crazy things. It's also cool being wedged next to the mountains- since very few people live in the mountains, it doesn't take long to get beyond most civilization.

I have a few key routes but I just found the best one in Fong Yuan- it's up a big hill but at least half of it is a gradual climb that doesn't make you want to die. (Thsoe kind of climbs are hard to find.) And after it does get steep, you're rewarded by this amazing view- on my first trip, camera-less, it was incredibly clear and you could see beyond Taichung, all the way over to the Taiwan Strait, and all the towns to the north. I'll probably never get a day that clear again, though. Tonight when I went it was a little foggy/ smoggy, though not as bad as usual.

silly sentence

Sometimes a kid turns in a sentence that's so right gramatically, but just so weird.

Like this one for several:

"The mouse next to the dog has several scary eyes so no one wants to go pet the dog."

The thing is, making a correct sentence that long with several clauses is really hard for them.

freakin' out

I think I have used that title before.

So, I am scared of birds. Like, I think graphic representations of birds are cool, and I enjoy their songs, even early in the morning, but I don't like to be in close proximity to an uncaged one. I'd kind of forgotten about this but now I do remember a few times back home, coming a little unglued when a bird landed on my side-view mirror and I had the windows down.

So:

this weekend I was at a friend's house and all of a sudden this bird flew right over my head. And I screamed. They put the bird in the cage (it was a pet) and felt so bad about scaring me but I felt like a schmuck.

Then, I was riding my bike and got a li'l bit lost and was on some random road that was flat and straight and this bird kept dive-bombing my head. So I screamed and derided it in English, while some Taiwanes people laughed and derided me in Chinese.

Then, tonight, it was Stinking Cicada Part 2. This time I was on my computer when a cicada came flying into the room! So I screamed and ran away, and got the Raid, but now I don't see it. So I just shut the door to that room and brought my computer out into the living room. So that is more my fear of stuff flying near me. And I hope it's a cicada and not a horrible huge flying cockroach. But I think it's a cicada. Ahhhhh!

Exchanging Languages

So one thing that happens fairly regularly is that a Taiwanese person who speaks English wants to practice their English. It's usually a pretty awkward thing because they're usually very nervous, and sometimes they have a canned thing they've memorized; also, I'm usually in the middle of something or going somewhere and am not really in conversation mode.

I try to be polite, and if I'm on the train or something I don't mind talking for a few minutes, but I don't want to talk for hours, you know?

People will also ask for a tutor, or to do a language exchange. I fell for this when I first came, but it's never proven to be anything but a waste of time for me. Usually the other party loses interest after a few weeks, or they are disappointed that they're not suddenly speaking fluent English. It's weird because back home I did a language exchange with a Taiwanese couple, before I came here, and it helped me so much.

Then there's just the random speaking of English. A lot of people know how to say "Hello, how are you?" and that's all. And it's so funny when they say it to me, right?

Or like tonight, I went to Carrefour, and this guy who worked at a cell phone kiosk comes up to me and asks if I can speak English. Yes, I said. "Where are you going?" he asked. "To Carrefour," I said. "Oh," he said. "I think foreign women are very beautiful." "OK," I said, and I was on the escalator by that time. He seemed a little confused about what to do next, but he had to go back to work. He looked non-crazy, wearing a tie and looked pretty together. I don't know if his English wasn't sufficient to express his ideas, or if he just got tongue-tied. Or what the heck idea he was trying to express.

cicadas

Came home from the mini-vacation and every now and then there would be this ungodly racket coming from my study. I thought maybe something was wrong with one of my outlets and it was vibrating with 1000 watts of electricity or something. It died down and I went into investigate and there was the biggest, fattest, weirdest-looking cockroach I'd ever seen.

After a few minutes of reflection, I realized it was a cicada. I was still scared of it, I guess because of associating it with cockroaches. Plus, it's a pretty big bug. Eventually I pulled the ole newspaper-and-bucket trick and sent it out the window.

Dragon Boat Festival!

aka, 4-day weekend!

And I really need it!

What's on tap?

A long train ride
Followed by a long hike
Up to a remote hotel
Where the owner speaks English
Then some more hiking
And some watching Taiwan TV
And some reading
And lotsa sleeping
And speaking English
With other native English speakers
Not Chinese
and not Chinglish
and not teaching anyone anything.

Yeah!

Best Intersection Ever

There is an intersection I go through on the way to work that kinda kills my soul- it's a 5-way and I usually get to it 10 seconds into a 90-second light. But I've started to accept that and just view it as a bonus if I get a green light there.

But the last two days, the long light gave me a chance to get out my camera phone. First, there was this:


This guy had painted his dogs with tiger stripes. Then drove them around on his scooter. Usually dogs ride on the flat area in front of the driver but this dog's twin was already there so he had to perch on the back. When the scooter was going he couldn't even lay down- he had to stand up and balance his 4 feet next to each other on that little seat. He was pretty good at it though.

Then, tonight, a post-rainstorm-rainbow:

swine flu map

This BBC map is quite fascinating. You can slide it to see where the swine flu spreads each day. From what I hear in the teachers' room at school, there are a ton of cases in Taiwan now and one in Fong Yuan. But I haven't actually read anything to confirm this. On the map I'm not sure if they combine Taiwan's numbers in with China. Taiwan hasn't been allowed at WHO meetings so I guess sometimes stuff doesn't get accurately reported but now I guess they are allowed as "Chinese Taipei". I'm no expert on this subject- my point is just that if the map doesn't show cases for Taiwan, it doesn't necessarily mean there aren't any.

chiropractor

Not much to report in my life- I feel like I'm neglecting my blog, but there's not much noteworthy to write about. I did go to the chiropractor today. He speaks perfect English and went to school in the US. One of the teachers at work told me about him. I don't need one very often but when I do it's sure nice to know where one is, instead of languishing in pain.

Oh, yeah- I saw a scooter pulling a cage with a really big goat in it. Like, a small pony-sized goat. That was pretty crazy.

Natural Foods

There's a natural food store in Fong Yuan. And you know what they sell, among the whole grains and dried fruit? MSG. In a little bag for like $5. I guess it's so expensive because it's natural? It does say "vegetarian seasoning" on it...

I went to get the fixings for hummus, which I made and it's not bad! They had dried chick peas there and oddly I had a lot of trouble finding lemon juice or lemons to make it from (only limes everywhere), but finally I found a small bottle.

They give you straws everywhere whenever you buy a drink- even a small carton of milk or a bottle of water- and the girl at the register asked the other worker, "Where are the straws?" I said I didn't need one and the other worker started to make fun of her= "Can't you see? It's lemon juice! You think she'll use a straw to drink it?"

Then I came home and there was a father and two sons playing catch where I park my scooter. The one son was just a toddler but the dad was patient with both of them. I thought it was so cute. Then the son threw the ball and it came within an inch of my head. The dad said, "Be careful! Don't hit the foreigner!" thanks, man.