Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Funny English

There's not as much funny English here as there is in Taipei because there's just not as much English in general here. But enough to keep me enertained.

Taiwan's copyright laws are weird- it's fine to write, say, "Puha" on a t-shirt and put a Puma tiger underneath it, but I've never seen a shirt that says Pumas that isn't made by Pumas. But somewhere along the line I think the t-shirt manufacturers here got the idea that all correctly-spelled English is in violation of copyright, so there are shirts with everything mis-spelled. This makes sense when you're making a shirt with "Snoppy, the world-famous superb eagle," but less sense when you slap a strawberry on a shirt and write "Algebra is for lours." (???) Or, on my latest $99 NT bag, which shows a monkey hosing down an elephant, "Wosh elephhhnt with wator."

Near my building there's a sign advertising a new apartment building and it says "I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied the best." Yeah!

At the tea stand outside work they have this wooden tissue-box holder, and carved into it is: "I am certain she is grateful to have a man like you to be dependent on." As it goes, it's pretty grammatical, but it's strange to me that such a sentence has ever been uttered, except as a sarcastic finale to a bitter exchange. And then that someone would not only write it down but carve it, and into a tissue box holder of all things.

One of the best things i've seen was on the train, this woman had a bag with a surprised-looking Mickey Mouse, and a voice bubble coming from a person you couldn't see: "Honey, I would have asked that mice-man for directions, but his underwear was on outside his pants!"

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